Move over cutlery and new towels; there’s a new wedding gift on the block. More and more couples are asking for help with down payments as part of their wedding gift registry.
The New Normal For Weddings
Today, the average woman gets married at 29 and the average man at 31; compare that to 23 for women and 26 for men in 1990! Getting married later means that more couples are living together before tying the knot.
This change in wedding dynamics means that wedding gifts are changing as well. Couples that live together before getting married have most of the things they need to start a life together; they have plates and sheets and kitchenware. What most of the Millennial generation doesn’t have? Large savings accounts for things like down payments.
The Generational Difference
With these money obstacles in front of them, Millennials don’t see it as strange or rude to ask for help with huge purchases or to have experiences. Millennials ask for help paying for their honeymoon or for down payments because to do it on their own is very, very difficult. They want to move forward with their lives and have the same experiences as their parents.
Asking For Help With Down Payments
The opinions are still divided on whether or not it’s appropriate to ask for help with your down payment as a wedding gift. Wedding planners and wedding magazine editors say that it’s ok to ask for money for a large purchase in your registry, but that how you ask is a big deal.
The experts advise spreading the word that you need or want help with a down payment by mouth. Share your goal with family members before you formally list it on your registry. You can also recruit a family member to do some asking on your behalf. Think having your dad tell your aunts and uncles ‘Jaime really wants to buy a house, and I know help with the down payment would be appreciated.’
They also caution that older friends and relatives may be taken aback at the request for cash. To walk the line, they suggest either splitting the registry between traditional items like sheets and something like a down payment. Even if you have been living with your partner for years, you can use the registry as a chance to upgrade some items you’ve had since college.
What do you think? Is it appropriate to ask for help with your down payment when you’re getting married?
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