What To Do When Everything Is The Worst

Trump got elected. We all woke up today and realized that a year of fear mongering and bigoted speeches worked. American politics took a turn that I never thought possible. To everyone who finds their way here I say this: today is a sad day for the United States.

For possibly the first time in my life, it doesn’t feel like hyperbole to say that everything is the worst. I find myself wanting to cry and scream at the same time. Today is a day to process feelings and to take care of ourselves. We’ve got a hell of a four-year Presidential run coming at us, but today we need to be mindful of ourselves first.

Let me try and paint you a better picture of my feelings today. I want to sob under my blankets and I want to burn down buildings. I want to protest the results and I want to flee the country. I am overwhelmed by the cold truth that racism and sexism are flourishing in my country.

Suffice it to say that everything is the worst. And when everything is the worst, self-care becomes the most important thing on the to-do list. 

So today I will eat some ice cream. I will go for a walk. I will snuggle under my blankets. I will make friends homemade cards. I will light scented candles. I will be gentle with myself in every way I can.

I encourage you to do the same. Do many things that make you happy. Stay inside your comfort zone. Tune out voices that carry hate or anger in them. Turn towards your bliss. 

Because tomorrow it’s time to push back. Tomorrow we rise from our blankets, we blow out our candles, and we go back to work. Tomorrow we use our voices and our personal power to try and make the worst situation just a little bit better.

And we continue to do it the day after tomorrow, and the day after. It’s ok to acknowledge the pain today. It’s ok to tap out of the fight today. It’s ok to watch all the New Girl and eat all the cookies. Build yourself back up, because we need you. I need you.

I don’t want to live in a world where everything is the worst. I don’t want every day to be like today. I want to change things, and I do that by getting back in the ring.

When you’re done, and ready to leave the blankets, check out these articles to get you back on your feet.

The Financial Impact of Kindness
Money Isn’t The Goal
The Privilege I Have Despite Being Broke


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19 Replies to “What To Do When Everything Is The Worst”

  1. I needed to read this right now because I’m numb and my hands have been shaking ever since my 6-year-old daughter told me she is scared this morning before leaving for school. I don’t know who to talk to because I’m quite aware that some sheep are still wearing their wool. I’m just numb. There is no other way to put it.

    1. Latoya, I’m so sorry. I want you to know that you are not alone. You can email me whenever. It’s scary and sad, and downright unbelievable, but you are part of something bigger, and we will prevail.

    2. You’re right, some of them are. But a lot of us are openly speaking up against it and if you ever want to talk, I follow you on Twitter. Feel free to DM me.

  2. Well said Kara. I’m honoring my feelings, whatever they may be today. Then it’s time to get back to work and be a part of the solution, not the problem!

    1. Exactly. We’ve been dealt a huge blow and it’s necessary to feel that. And then it’s necessary to work against it.

  3. Today, I’m grieving. 12 hours ago I thought we still had hope but it’s gone now. I never had a flight response and for the first time when I heard about the concession, I briefly wondered, just for one breath, how bad it would have to get before we left. But that’s not me. We’re not leaving no matter how much this election has shown that half our neighbors hate us. I’m still here, and so are you, and so we can still work to change this.
    My baby cousin told me she’d never before realized how scary it was to fear for your safety as the result of an election. That shouldn’t ever happen again.

    1. I’m with you. I’m not going anywhere. I want Trump to know I’m here and I think he’s garbage. We can do this- it’s just gonna take a lot.

  4. To All The women (and men) who feel broken today. We are not giving up, we will fight for our rights and what’s best for this country. I am not choosing Trump. He will not be my President.

    1. #nevertrump is still relevant to me. I’m facing this guy down.

  5. Thank you. I am watching British Comedy, Miranda, and baking. I’m holding my kids close, reminding them to be the love in the world. I sent my girls off to school through tears with a reminder to be extra kind today because people are being mean to girls and especially mean to people that aren’t white. And that’s not okay. Ever. But today especially, we need to be kind.

    1. My heart goes out to you and your family. I love that you told them that and hate that you had to. I hope you enjoy your baked treats tonight, and tomorrow we fight on.

  6. The results push me to action and to continue forward in the name everything we’ve worked for, but I still can’t wrap my head around the idea that this particular man won the presidency. I can’t accept that this awful, horrible POS of a human being will be our next president (and the implications for my country) instead of what could have been. It’s a world I can’t face yet.

    1. It’s pretty terrible. And surreal. It feels like a joke but sadly it’s not. Keep on fighting until he’s gone.

      1. If nothing else, he did us the service of shaking our complacency, and it’s up to us to publicly stand up for our values and protest his vision of America. We will spend the next four years standing up against hate. Half the country voted for him, but half did not. It’s on us to continue the work and engage with those who felt so disenfranchised the last 8 years so that this doesn’t happen again.

  7. When my daughter left for school yesterday, fearing for friends who don’t fit the president-elect’s vision of America, I hugged her and told her “Be Kind. Be Brave. Stand up for yourself and for others.”

    I spent the rest of the day with clenched teeth and sorrow and fear.

    No more. I need to take my own advice. There are things I can do to work for change and make this country the one I saw a week ago and not the one I fear. So I can be kind. I can be brave. And I can stand up for myself and for others.

    1. I love that you told her that and that you are taking that advice yourself. I donated to Planned Parenthood yesterday, and I am pledging to be more of a visible ally to the groups targeted by Trump. We can take steps and as long as we follow through, change will come.

  8. Claire Stolowitz says: Reply

    I really appreciate this post, thanks for your reflections. I’d also love to see you write about being charitable/political/taking action on a budget, cause I want to roll my sleeves up and do this.

  9. I am so with you on this! I’ve let my friends know I WILL stand up for them. I’m super scared of the next four years and how far backwards he might drag this country, but I guess now we just have to really stand up for what we believe in, and who we believe in, and refuse to be intimidated.

    1. Standing up is the most important part! I’ve been thinking of that quote ‘All is takes for bad men to succeed is for good men to do nothing.’ We can’t be silent.

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